Wedding
Wedding messages, written for 9 different relationships
Wedding cards are read in a stack, often weeks later, and most of them say the same three things. Congratulations, best wishes, and a hope for happiness.
The ones that get kept say something specific about these two people.
Anniversary Quest
how it opens
What actually makes a wedding message land
Say what they are like together. You have outside information about their dynamic that they cannot access themselves.
Advice is the standard filler and is rarely wanted. Observation is scarcer and better.
If you have known one of them a long time, saying how they changed when the other arrived is unusually moving.
Wedding messages by relationship
Who you are writing to changes the message more than the occasion does. Each page below is written for one relationship.
Timing and etiquette
- Address both of them, including the one you know less well.
- Avoid anything that could read as a joke about marriage being an ordeal, however conventional.
- For a second marriage, or a couple who have been together many years already, acknowledging the real history is better than pretending it starts today.
Common questions
- What should you write in a wedding message?
- Say what they are like together. You have outside information about their dynamic that they cannot access themselves. Advice is the standard filler and is rarely wanted. Observation is scarcer and better.
- How long should a wedding message be?
- Three to five sentences. One observation about them as a pair is worth more than any amount of good wishes.
- When should you send a wedding message?
- Address both of them, including the one you know less well.
Say it as something they open
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