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Christmas

Christmas messages for your son-in-law: 6 to write or borrow

A christmas message for your son-in-law should name one real detail, not offer a general wish. Start with the moment you stopped thinking of him as a guest and say why it matters. You can send the 6 examples below as written, but replacing one detail with your own memory will make it personal.

Updated

The opening screen of a Christmas Quest, a lit snow globe on a midnight blue background

Christmas Quest

how it opens

Christmas is when a son-in-law is most obviously either a guest or a member of the household, and he will notice which one the card treats him as.

A son-in-law is often assessed for a long time before he is accepted, and frequently never told when the assessment ended.

Christmas messages are written in bulk, and everybody knows it. The reader can tell within one line whether they are receiving a message or a distribution.

6 christmas messages for your son-in-law

  1. Warm
    Christmas here got better when you started turning up. Merry Christmas.
  2. Heartfelt
    You are family, and Christmas is the time of year that makes that most obvious. Merry Christmas.
  3. Short
    Merry Christmas. Glad you are one of us.
  4. Warm
    You slot into this family at Christmas like you have always been here. Merry Christmas.
  5. Heartfelt
    Christmas got better when you started turning up to it. Happy Christmas.
  6. Short
    Merry Christmas. Glad you are one of us.

What actually works in a Christmas message to your son-in-law

Framing him through your daughter keeps him at the door. Say the plain thing instead.

As with a daughter-in-law, the strongest version names something about him that has nothing to do with his marriage.

Reference the year that has actually happened. A Christmas card that could have been sent in any of the last five years announces itself immediately.

Timing and etiquette for a Christmas message to your son-in-law

Cards to families should say something about the household rather than listing every name.

A Christmas Quest hub on a midnight blue screen titled 'A Winter Night for Maya', with lights waking one by one

A Winter Night for Maya

christmas · winter light trail

Details only you would know about your son-in-law

The moment you stopped thinking of him as a guest is usually the fastest way in. Swap one general phrase in any message above for one of these and the borrowed line becomes yours - your son-in-law will recognize it immediately, which is the entire point.

  • The moment you stopped thinking of him as a guest
  • Something he is good at that has nothing to do with your daughter
  • How he handled a family crisis
  • The way he is with your grandchildren
  • Something he does for the family that goes unremarked
  • A skill or interest of his you respect
  • How he treats his own family
  • Something you have learned from him

What goes wrong when people write to sons-in-law

  • Defining him by his marriage

    A card entirely about how he treats your daughter reduces him to a function, however well he performs it.

  • The joke about taking her off your hands

    Extremely common and quietly diminishing to both of them.

  • Never saying he is in

    Many sons-in-law report never having been told plainly that they were accepted. Tell him.

Common questions

What is the best christmas message for your son-in-law?
Pick one real detail - the moment you stopped thinking of him as a guest - and build two or three sentences around it. A son-in-law is often assessed for a long time before he is accepted, and frequently never told when the assessment ended, which is why a message that could only have been written to your son-in-law outperforms a longer, more polished one that could go to anyone.
What should you not write to your son-in-law?
Avoid defining him by his marriage. A card entirely about how he treats your daughter reduces him to a function, however well he performs it.
How long should a christmas message be?
Two to four sentences, with at least one referring to something that actually happened this year. Seasonal wishes can close it, not carry it.
How do you make a christmas message sound personal rather than copied?
Change one detail to something only you would know. Take any message here and replace its general noun with something he is good at that has nothing to do with your daughter. That single substitution is what separates a message that sounds borrowed from one that sounds like you wrote it.

When a Christmas message is not quite enough for your son-in-law

Christmas here got better once he started turning up - that is a sentence worth writing.

BloomQuest takes the same raw material this page has been asking you for - the moment you stopped thinking of him as a guest, the thing you would never say out loud - and turns it into a small private world your son-in-law opens from one link. Your words, their memories, and a finale you write yourself.

The Christmas world is built for exactly this. Free to build and preview; you only pay when you share it.

More christmas messages

All christmas messages · Everything for your son-in-law

When a Christmas message is not quite enough for your son-in-law

Christmas here got better once he started turning up - that is a sentence worth writing.

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